You downloaded a children’s storybook with a title that says The Behemoth Dinosaur in the Land of Uz and you get excited on how this story will pan out especially when a dinosaur is involved. However, sadly and unfortunately, the excitement dissipated the moment you read the first lines in English. For the book, I conclude even in this introduction, is an unsuccessful attempt to transform Bible-related scenes and landmarks into one engaging, smooth-flowing, attention-getting storybook for children.

Let me elaborate the shakiest and the weakest parts of the book so necessary steps can be done to improve this book: 

 

Lost in translation, perhaps?

For a book that spells a proper noun with a capital letter “P”, well that’s really, uhm, disappointing. I don’t know if that’s intentional but I learned in school that proper nouns should be spelled with a capital letter and seeing this faux pas all over the pages -from start to finish – is distracting. I felt like bringing out my red ballpen and encircle the mistake every time I come across it. Then I remember I’m reading an e-book…

I love bilingual books. I’m multilingual and have written unpublished storybooks (in my native Philippine language, Cebuano, and English) and I know for a fact that going bilingual in a storybook can be a very tricky road to traverse. The problem with The Behemoth Dinosaur in the Land of Uz is that the message it wanted to convey in Spanish doesn’t just come across in the same way as it did in English. I believe this is a translation issue and so I recommend going back to the writing table and reexamine the English part to make sure that it is well written, edited, and arranged.

I wanted to love this book so bad because it’s a bilingual book but honestly, it bored me and to a point, annoyed me. So please, please, please have this one edited by someone who can make it sound friendlier not only to prospective child readers but to parents and adults who will read this to their kids.

 

Scattered plot

The plot is everywhere, scattered into pieces, and they’re very difficult to pick up and put together. Reading this is painful because you really don’t know which direction the story wants to go. Sure it mentions how the people gave the dinosaur some parts of their land… but for what purpose? What is the significance of a behemoth dinosaur in the Land of Uz? This book has got to have a redeeming value and looking for that is like searching for a needle in a haystack.

 

Good illustrations, messy layout

I have no problem with the illustrations but the way the entire story was laid out creates a visual headache. A reader cannot see the flow and connection. It’s like reading a different story page after page. I’m not familiar with how books are transformed into e-book format but this may be a technical issue. If this is draft of the book then it is in dire need of reformatting (or whatever term it is called).
The story has a potential to save itself by: (1) looking into the plot and determine how the start, middle, and end should work together to come up with a unifying theme;  (2) get back to the English text and make a major overhaul because it badly needs it; and (3) redo the layout and this time, give justice to the illustrations.

I did not have fun with this book and as a mother of two (going three) I surely am not reading this to my children; not in its current form and content.

But…I am looking forward to the revised version. Everybody deserves a second chance. Especially a bilingual book.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Book Look Bloggers in exchange for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”