Many times I was called to love and many times I refused to love. And there were times in the middle of loving, spontaneous burps of mistrust and disloyalty came out of nowhere.
Some love can be too much and much love can be so little that I was confused if it was really alright to give in. I am one skeptical female. I take everything with a grain of salt. I don’t believe in pure intention; there is some motive behind everything that people do but not necessarily evil to begin with. I didn’t think any human being is capable of loving too much. It was just unbelievable. But I believed that there are creatures who can love so little. I saw it in the eyes of an abortionist I encountered in a far-flung village in Leyte, who refused to admit that she has done wrong. To her, she is the panacea to all problems related to family conflict, relationship breakdown, loss of beauty, professional demise. So many things, so many realities I was hesitant to accept. There were things that were just improbable and impossible.
Then came two people. They didn’t change me overnight. Slowly, they tried to melt the chains of annoyance, skepticism and even, pride. Not all vanished as their mission left behind fragments of fear, sadness and ignorance. But they did pretty well in making me gentle, subtle, even refined. They made it seem easier for me to open up; to accept some situations I used to see with eyes closed; to understand people I had no patience to face; and to embrace patience like a shepherd who reunited with his long-lost sheep. Everyday I witness the giggles, the tears, the excitement, the growth, the impatience, the frustration, the love. Everything is savored; almost everything is documented and shared. I’m looking at them at this very moment – with overwhelming emotions of annoyance because they won’t stop crying when they have been given everything – as I hear the lifetime partner say: “Leave, you don’t need the verbal abuse.”
I let out a tired laugh as I closed the door of the Room of Messy Diapers and Milk Burps. The cries continued. I went inside my bathroom and turned on the faucet. It’s time for a long, warm bath.
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T30WC or The 30-minute Writing Challenge is a writing exercise born out of this blogger’s need to maintain a habit of writing. Subjects of each writing challenge is just about anything but should ONLY be written within 30 minutes.
