I had different experiences with the twins (Nick and Toni) and JJ.
I had it easy with the twins because I had help from two girls plus the family members (my Mom and two brothers) who were more than happy to hold the babies. At some point in my twin breastfeeding journey, my brothers even helped me in perfecting the football hold.
With JJ, a singleton, it was a challenge.
Jeff took the wee-hours-of-the-morning shift but still, I had to get up because I breastfed the baby. Yep, straight from the source.
Too bad men can’t produce milk the way a woman’s mammary glands put dairy factories to shame.
One morning when I was breastfeeding JJ, I told Jeff about my idea to curb teenage pregnancy: have teenagers serve as interns in the houses of families with newborn babies. Let them be an intern for three to four months. Have them wake up when the baby wails. Have them change diapers, prepare milk, assist the mothers in bathing the babies, give them money to do grocery shopping.
Perhaps, I told Jeff, that would make them think otherwise about being careless.
I recently learned about a relative who is only 16 years old and is already living together with her 18-year-old boyfriend.
The Mom said she could not do anything about it because her daughter won’t listen. She has exhausted all means possible to dissuade her daughter living the life of a married couple even when they are not yet married and are certainly unfit to enter such arrangement.
I was not shocked.
Frankly.
But I am angry.
Both at the mother and the daughter.
And the society that tolerates this situation.
I don’t want to sound like a prude and write about what could have been done. But… the following thought, I would like to impart to the teenagers and young adults of this generation.
Darlings, priorities and perspectives change when you have children. You buy milk (if you do not breastfeed) that is at least P485 for a 900-gram can and will only last for three to four days.
That is the cheapest you can get.
The price can go as high as P1,800.
I am not kidding.
Disposable diapers are not free.
Even when we used cloth diapers, you will still invest time, effort, and money to clean them out from horrible poop stain and urine smell.
The happy babies’ commercial can be deceptive. Because your baby will not be always happy.
They will get cranky, nasty, snotty.
You will need not just financial security but equally important is emotional maturity to handle the challenges which come with raising another human being.
So before you undress and continue being careless, think.
Think about the big change that will happen to your life.
Sure, in the long run it will be all worth it. I am not saying it won’t be.
But there are roads you need to take to get to that stage.
There are no shortcuts.
There are no roads that will lead you to the it-is-all-worth-it stop.
In the many case I witnessed here in the Philippines, those who got pregnant unprepared — usually unmarried, still in school or just graduated — ran back to Mommy, cry to Mommy, and ask Mommy for help.
The very same Mommy who was disrespected because stubborn wants her way, the very same Mommy whose words of advice were not heeded, the very same Mommy
If you are not ready for a major life change…
If you are not ready to give up the time you spent walking around the mall buying things you really do not need…
If you want your uninterrupted sleep…
Then do not have kids.
Save the children from the misery of having irresponsible parents.
They do not deserve it.
