Dr. Todd Cartmell dishes out practical tidbits of wisdom on the hard game called parenting in his book 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids, a product of more than two decades of being a child psychologist and father to two boys.
Dr. Todd’s book shared some parenting advice that most of us know already, such as:
- Listen more to your child;
- Lower your volume knob down (in short, do not scream);
- Be in control;
- Talk to your children more;
- Have a regular family time.
But he also shared a couple of eye-opening situations using real-life examples.
These are:
- Listen with your entire body (tool #2)
- Water the whole lawn regularly (tool #6)
- If unsure, press pause (tool #1)
- Emphasize respect (tool #5)
- Help your kids bounce (tool #7)
Dr. Todd wrote this book with busy parents in mind.
This book is divided according to each tool: talking, listening, influencing, connecting, teaching, encouraging, correcting, and leading. Each tool is further subdivided into short, concise, and example-filled chapters which you can read while you’re waiting for the laundry to be done, while spending some private time in the bathroom, or as a before bedtime reading material with your spouse.
Most of Dr. Todd’s examples are of school-aged children so as a mother of twin toddlers and an infant, I tried to cherry pick on the examples and noted which ones apply in my current parenting stage.
What I realized are the following:
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Parents CANNOT quit.
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Parenting is a lifelong commitment.
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Parenting is a basic form of leadership.
There’s no such thing as quitting when you’re a parent. That is why it’s the most difficult job in the world. If being parent were another job, I would have filed my resignation effective the very second the letter was printed and signed.
I have been telling myself that “things” will get better once the kids have passed the tantrum stage that usually happens in toddlerhood and that I will be “free” sooner than I expected. But while my brain cells tried to absorb every tool that Dr. Todd shared in his book (and reprimanding myself in between for reading parenting books too late as I only started last week), I realized that parenting is a lifelong commitment. You can never get away from it.
I like how this book made Jeff and I review the way we are raising our children. We learned that as parents – mother and father – we don’t need to follow the bad cop, good cop arrangement; that the roles of connecting (to) and correcting our children do not need to be distributed as exclusive responsibilities of a one parent (e.g. Dad corrects, Mom connects).
Nope, erase that.
Each parent should be able to connect (to) and correct his/her children.
In this book, Dr. Todd also teaches parents and non-parents alike that parenting, in essence, is a basic form of leadership. After all, it occurs inside the basic unit of society. Parents are leaders: our words are powerful, our actions are being observed, our encouragement are sought after.
This is the first parenting book that I read from cover to cover. I shunned other parenting books because every time I peruse their tables of contents, I always find the pieces of advice as clichés or rehashed versions of some tips and tricks I skimmed from click-bait articles.
Dr. Todd’s 8 Simple Tools for Raising Great Kids though was different in a sense that it did not claim to be very scientific; it is not laden with nauseating statistics and horrifying counts of different studies conducted in this or that part of that world.
This book showed personal examples of parents and children, who struggled and worked together to build better relationships. They touch both the hearts and minds because they also talk of values (respect being my favorite) and faith.
There’s a summary of the parenting tips at the back of the book and a link to a free parenting assessment based on the 8 simple tools that Dr. Todd talked about in the book. The parenting assessment will help us, parents, identify which of the eight parenting skills we are strongest in and which areas we may need a boost. You can find the assessment tool by clicking here.
Seriously, we need more bite-sized yet reflective parenting resources like this.
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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a copy of this book from Moody Publishers for the purpose of this review. I was not required to write positive reviews. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”.
